The Misadventure of Joseph, The Maintenance Man
by Clockwork000
Summary: We've all had to suffer through the Joseph escort mission, read this tale that both awed me and most likely made me a worse person through experiencing it first hand. One-shot.


_**Disclaimer **__- _Hey guys, I don't own _Dead Island_ and never will. Enjoy my non-profit story though!

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><p><strong>The Misadventure of Joseph: The Maintenance Man<strong>

It was monsoon season here on the island. That pretty much translating to a freak rainstorm every other day or so. My partner Purna and I had just traversed through half the city, and were now performing a satisfactory trudge up the damp stone staircase leading to the church. After jumping from rooftop to rooftop, dashing away from eager infected, being bashed half a dozen feet by disgruntled rams, and narrowly diving out of the blast radius of those depressing suiciders, we were _dead_ tired to say the least.

We opened the gates to the courtyard and slowly drifted inside. As we walked around we were greeted with smiles and thank-yous from people we had helped before with odd jobs and favors. I spotted the nun, Helen in the back and we made our way over to her. I told her of our mission success in clearing out the pump station across town. My partner was wondering about, performing weapon maintenance and checking in with the merchant. Occasionally making her way behind Helen and making obscene gestures. A small albeit immature smile present across my face as she did so, a childish happiness that would later fade by the end of the day.

Purna and I had planned to retire early when Helen suddenly stopped us. She began to inform us how we direly needed to escort Joseph across town to resolve the sewer flooding. We were exhausted, but we both knew Sinamoi needed food, badly. A necessity supposedly only located across the river in the rich section of town. With the bridges destroyed and a flooded but spacious sewer being the only way across, we couldn't decline.

My associate and I made our way back outside and were greeted by Joseph, the maintenance man. He was a middle aged islander, dawned in a cheap blue jumpsuit and matching blue cap. I look up at the clearing sky, the rain finally stopping as Purna started talking to the man. _Looks like our luck's finally turning around_. A thought the gods of karma would later viciously correct.

With everyone ready, I open the gates and equip my trusty mace. My partner reloading a powerful, newly acquired magnum. Joseph however, picked up a rusted old pipe off the ground and began marching ahead of us down the church staircase. My partner and I exchanging a quizzical glance before following.

… … …

The three of us were quickly making our way through the back alleys of the northern part of town. The moans and wailing of the infected present amongst all directions. We were lucky, things could have been going a lot worse.

As we walk down the street we see a vender dealing his wares behind bared windows. "Look at this man, consumed by his own greed in a time like th-" When Joseph stopped I turned nervously only to see that Purna had ignored Joseph and was trading with the vender. I laugh nervously but Joseph seemed slightly angered.

Then it happened; our first encounter. Being mindful, we all hid behind a turned over car in the middle of the road. There were a group of walkers, two of them set ablaze by a flaming garbage can beside them. Joseph looked over at us and said something that not only confused us, but also defined him as a person.

"I think we should move straight ahead."

We both stared at him, slightly agape before looking down the street and back at Joseph. Before either of us could retort to Joesph's peculiar statement, he stood up and began running down the alleyway beside us. We exchanged another glance and hastily followed in suit.

We almost caught up when the rain started up again. Thunder echoing in the distance, a sudden presence of loudening footsteps along with hissing and panting. We look down an adjacent alley as a small group of three infected vigorously charge us. One knocked her onto the ground before she could shoot and I was rendered immobile by a flurry of slashes. Joseph took notice and doubled back to come to our aid. He removed the pipe off his back and thwacked the beast off of me before holding off the third infected with imprecise and random swings. Angry by the surprise strike, I jump into the air and kick my attacker onto his back. Purna beginning to stand beside me. Without remorse I walk over the creature and swiftly crush his head underneath my boot. Purna stands up tall and pulls out her handgun, taking quick aim at the infected's head, before perfectly unloading half a clip into it's skull. I pick up my mace and with great anger, chuck it at the back of the final attackers head, causing him to collapse lifelessly in front of Joseph.

Battered and out of stamina, I pick up a discarded energy drink off the ground and quickly chug it. I look up and notice Joseph jogging back down the alley, a scowl growing on my face as I turn back to my partner. She had her back to me me as he stares down a mixed group of infected an walkers shuffling down the path behind us. No doubt attracted by the ruckus from the previous assault. She tells me to leave and I reluctantly agree. As I run to catch up to Joseph I hear gunshots and the sounds of bodies hitting the ground.

I rounded the corner and instantly grimaced. Joseph was sprinting toward a horde of unaware infected near the entrance of the market stalls. Frantic, I notice a propane tank near an abandoned truck beside the group. Acting quick, I pull out my sidearm and shoot the canister. The blast knocks back several infected and reduces several infected unfortunate enough to be on the inner side of the blast radius to charcoal. Joseph although in the outer zone of the blast, is still hit, but miraculously shrugs it of before bludgeoning the knocked down infected with his pipe.

I breath out a sigh, more of amazement than of relief. My partner sprints past me screaming profanities at Joseph, apparently witnessing most of the scene. I make my way over and the three of us proceeded to curb-stomp and beat the remaining disoriented infected.

Joseph runs across the road and into the market area, my partner yelling her complaints to me as we follow in suit once more. The market Is foggy, surprisingly no zombies within the vicinity. In the foreign and most likely temporary peace, our eyes cannot help but wander in precaution, as if babysitting a danger-prone child. When I notice another propane tank ahead of us I wince a little but then sigh in relief as Joseph blissfully walks past it. _We're almost there. Just across this street, down the alley in the slums, through a canal, and its a clear run south down the main road. _While we navigate down the road it is ominously quiet. "We're almost done, lets get this over with." I am disheartened by her tone, but sadly can't disagree.

We enter the alley and notice it forks at the end and just like the main road, it is barren. I jump slightly as I hear growls from behind me, I turn and see a group of walkers following behind us. I back up, but bump into a stationary Joseph. I slowly look behind me to see infected wander from both forks of the alleyway. "Move up!" My eyes widen as a molotov is chucked past me at the walkers behind me. She lights another as I ready my mace for the now charging infected. With one infected getting with in range, I retract my mace and swing it like a baseball bat. It connects and takes his head clean off.

I don't flinch this time as another molotov is thrown past my face and block off the right fork, burning several of them in the process. A massive hoard now assembling on the only path left. I run in close, trying my best to keep them off the others. I am quickly overrun by the sheer number but as I hear another molotov being lit and I smirk. My smirk drops as I notice a few explosive oil barrels hidden behind the wall beside me. Turning direly to warn Purna but it is to late, I can do nothing but watch as the molotov flies over my head and lands right behind the explosive barrels.

KABOOM! The detonating explosives disintegrate the zombies nearby and knock me back a dozen feet. I look up, the rain still pounding on me as I notice the spreading fire stop right before reaching me. I smile and lay back to see Joseph smiling down at me. I look behind him to notice Purna holding off the remaining zombies with her magnum. Joseph tips his cap to me as he begins sprinting past me. My eyes widen as Purna turns around shouting. "Joseph! What the fuck are you doing?" He never looked back as he sprinted into the flames and is just as quickly as the infected, was consumed in fire. As I rise I don't feel anything. "God dammit you fucking idiot! We were almost there!" Purna shouts taking her anger out on one of the remaining walkers by beating it to death with her bare hands. I am motionless and agape as I watch Joseph trip over a corpse and begin franticly rolling around in the fire, most likely attempting to put it out. Some of his first words still echoing in my head. "I think we should move straight ahead." _I should've been angry, but the sight of Joseph burning alive in the flaming alleyway couldn't help but bring a small albeit immature smile to my face._

_**Game Over**_

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><p><strong>Authors Notes: I had to do it.<strong>

**In case my writing didn't make it clear, this actually happened to me, and I'm sure many others suffered a similar situation in the game. I don't even wanna talk about the Shaman or Yerema before they patched them. Video game companies, stop making escort missions. We all hate them.**

**Honestly though, I really like **_**Dead Island**_**, but the game has it's faults (glitches I should say). Disappearing weapons, broken workbenches, and sub-par (or worse... Joseph) AI. Unfortunately, the game also had a somewhat short campaign, even after completing all side-quests I beat the game in roughly 12 hours. -but hey the landscape is beautiful, it's thrilling, and I still have **_**New Game+**_ **to look forward to.**

**Hope my story entertained if even a little, and as always: Read, Review, and Enjoy!**


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